The Dance of Beauty

A friend of mine who study Odissi dance as well, approached me some days ago saying: "You know, if I had do describe Odissi in one word, I would say 'Beautiful'!" At first it sounds too simple of a description; all this grace, power, complexity of foot work, harmonious movement, emotional expressions, deep meanings... - but in fact, after I gave it a little thought, I'm completely in agreement. BEAUTY is one of those few quintessential words I use for describing Life's essence. Much like LOVE. BEAUTY is the culmination of grace, fluidity, power and Harmony. Beauty is integral of life and is inherently 'feminine' energetically. I've noticed that I often trigger somebody when I dare to say "Beauty is our power as Women". I think most women don't view themselves as beautiful 'enough', try to avoid being classified as 'beautiful' in favor of 'smart' or intellectual, or they hide or unaware of their efforts to constantly beautifying themselves and seek beauty. Whether is by buying (and loving it!) new clothes, jewelry, purses, shoes, nail polish...having a new hair cut, pampering in any way, exercising, enjoying beautiful flowers, food, fabrics... all of these and more are actions motivated by the yearning of embodying beauty. I dare to say that Women, who do not care to look beautiful and attractive in one way or another, are disconnected from their feminine essence. Beauty is at the core of who we are. We are beautiful, and living in harmony is our natural gravitation.

Beauty is often simplified to mean external and subjective kind of beauty. In one hand it is often seen as inferior to 'intellect' or wisdom, and on the other hand it's exploited and overly pursued in a superficial way that can never fulfill oneself. Perhaps because 'beauty' is fundamentally at the core of life pursuit, it has been overly used, and lost it's brilliance as a description word. It has been reduced to most commonly mean 'Physical Beauty' or often interchangeable as 'sexy', and the kind that is in fashion and socially agreed upon.

Here in India, one of the key words people use to denote beautiful is 'Smart'. You know, well dressed, well groomed, elegant etc. It took me forever to understand what it means. I was very confused the first few times my Odissi teachers would tell me to 'look smart'. How the heck is I suppose to look smart when I'm dancing? And why is it so important that I'm smart or looking like one? Well, I soon realize it means beautiful, in an elegant way. Looking smart while dancing means doing your dance fully and neatly, with elegance and vigor. It means giving it all you can.

 Since English is my second language, I tend to look at it with fresh eyes, and I find it interesting that smart means both intelligent and beautiful...so perhaps these two are not in opposition to each other but one and the same?
Perhaps if I had to describe Odissi in one word, I would use 'Smart'...

Emotional Reality / Compassion

Since I'm a recent blogger, as in every new-found love, I'm still discovering my 'inner blogger' and the nature of this recent relationship; my rhythm and content, my patterns, my readers etc. I'm by no means a seasoned blog reader neither, so I just have to free style it. Although I have the notion I should write about my daily experiences, I find it boring to regurgitate the occurrences of my day...and in fact my inner experiences often have only slight logical resemblance to what actually happens in 'reality'. In short, I'm a dreamer, and I tend to live in my own creation of a 'reality' like I assume we all do. Mine, has a high emotional notes, and my feelings often take charge and carry me into distant lands of inner experiences...
However, I'm intrigued with this new relationship I have with you, the reader. I'm wondering what my blog readers are interested in: Odissi Dance? Yoga? India? My life? If you feel inspired to share the interests that are prompting you to keep reading, please do. Thus it can become more complete, rather then me talking my mind to no one. As I mentioned in an earlier post, one of the breakthroughs I recently had is using writing as means of communication, and so I would love to include listening as well.

The other day I had a surge of compassion take over me. A chain of occurrences stripped me down of the usual armor of aloofness I wear as I'm readying myself to face the world. The suffering I saw all around besieged me. The harshness of life, the difficulty everybody are facing as they try to make it through yet another day. It hit me straight in the heart and overwhelmed me with love and compassion to all. Whatever lot of suffering I normally carry around vanished. There was no room for it. My heart was filled with gratitude, love, and compassion to all beings.

Don't get me wrong; it is not like India is such a miserable place. I could just as well write about all the uncontrollable ecstasy and contentment in the midst of poverty. The suffering here is probably no less in measure then in the US, or any other place, but here, like everything else, it is available to see, feel and touch. The street dogs are suffering, the hard-labor poor ladies in colorful saris are suffering, the fruit vendors are suffering, and the businessman who are buying these fruit are suffering too.

Well, after a couple days of my shifted consciousness, for lack of a better way to explain it, I started to look deeper into negative emotions, and the choices we can make to navigate our emotional experience. I saw that jealousy inhabit the cracks lack of confidence and trust leave. Hatred inhibits lack of love, sadness lack of joy etc. And once an emotional pattern takes a residence in our heart and mind, even in the slightest way, it builds a momentum and over time becomes a pattern. These uncontrollable and unconscious patterns consume our life force, and take us 'down'. We all have this little 'cracks' unless we are fully enlightened. But we have a choice. And the first step is self-honesty and self-awareness.

When we find ourselves jealous, for example, we can shift to examine our sense of self-confidence, and the foundation of honesty in our relationships. We can develop and strengthen our inner confidence, study ourselves, meet our power, and live our truth; carry our Dharma. We often fear our own integrity or lack of it more then others. Shifting our focus inwards, relaying on our inner resources and knowledge give us the courage to shine our light, live our passion, and make choices for the betterment and well-being of all beings.

'The Sound of Noise'

 Life here is filled with sounds: from inspirational divine music to intense racket and everything in between. The sounds come in waves, and much like being in the ocean, there is nothing one can do to avoid them. Thus... at the times I wake up in the middle of the night form the whistling guard that patrol the neighborhood streets with his whistle all night long, or when I abruptly awaken at 3:30 pm from my afternoon nap by the loud auto rickshaws honking and clunking, I start wondering about the nature of sound, and the difference between the sensual pleasure of harmonious sound - music & natural rhythms verses the erratic & disturbing sounds we call 'noise'. I think it is a fine line.  A beautiful music can be pleasing when we are in the mood for it, and when played at a decent quality speakers, but complete nuisance when it is too loud, repeatedly played, blasted out of poor quality speakers, or in the middle of the night...when I want to sleep! Those of you who have been to India, I'm sure can relate:)

I think I have high tolerance to sounds. I used to fall a sleep like a clock around 9pm most of my life, no matter what. I remember falling a sleep while walking with my mom to the children house after the 9pm news, as a child at the kibbutz. I also remember sleeping through a demo terrorist attack the Israeli Special Forces unexpectedly inflict my parents' house one weekend, when I was sleeping at their home. I finally woke up to the repeatedly loudspeaker orders that woke up the all neighborhood, confused why we are being tied up to chairs, while my mom is offering them coffee. I even remember falling a sleep at rock concerts a couple times as a teenager.  I'm a bit more sensitive to sounds now, but I tend to find the harmony in them. I think the intention behind producing a sound makes a difference too. As long as a sound is produced as a natural expression, joining the harmonious play of life, or in an attempt to tap into nature harmony, it is pleasant. A child learning musical instrument with passion and intent, seeking rhythm and melody is enjoyable, while careless banging around can torment the ear. Any expression of creative pursuit is generally pleasing and welcomed, while the sound of destruction, in-justice, carelessness, and ignorance is experienced as noise and is hurtful.
Anyways, I keep tuning in to the multiple lines of sound produced in my surrounding, mostly of the creative kind:) yet, wishing to expand the intervals of precious silence, missing the soothing calmness, the gentle sounds of nature at my home in AZ.

Bhubaneswar

 My days are filled with stories to share. If you are a writer, a photographer, or any artist for that matter, and you ever find your creative juice well is drying out, go to India! Even the most mundane encounters are so incredibly fantastic and colorful. As I adjust to living in this vibrant and rich culture, I find myself constantly challenged to develop new neuron-connections in my brain to fathom it all. I certainly find no lack of stimuli for laughter, madness, compassion, despair - the list goes on. Venturing out in the world with any number of errands to run turns into an ad-venture. I could write a all book, for instance, only on my encounters with the cow-beings. (they sort of have a status of senior citizens, and they move like one too; very slowly an carefully).

Today I received an Ayurvedic massage. You would never guess how many masseuses I had attending me...Four!! Ladies of course. They are very careful here to not mix genders in such delicate situations. At first I thought it will be too much, (which is a theme I constantly find myself 'ADJUSTING' to. Most everything is 'TOO MUCH'). They were surprisingly coordinated with each other though, working in perfect unison like a boat rowing crew. WOW. It was incredible. I didn't think anyone will believe me...so here are the photos of my lovely crew and the traditional wood massage table. It only cost me $18 by the way...which is more then you usually pay. I think standard massage is between $5-$10.

I've been here for two months now, and most of my time is dedicated to Odissi dance study, and I occasionally perform. I take classes morning and evening most days. It's often seems like I spend the time in between to recuperate and prepare for my next class.

Now, when the weather is ideal, it is when many Odissi dancers flock into town from all over the world to recharge with Odissi inspiration. Taking intensive courses, visiting the numerous Ancient Temples which inspire Odissi, and taking part in the many Dance festivals that crowd the city halls through out winter. I live in a house with several such Odissi wander girls from Europe and Japan, and enjoy sharing our common passion and interests.

Most of the time I can't believe how fortunate I'm to be able to spend this winter dedicating myself fully to Odissi dance in the place of its origin. Having a break from family and work responsibilities. Having this 'freedom-window' in the middle of life is such a blessing and I'm deeply grateful. Yet, sometimes I forget how special it is. I get caught up in the day to day tedious activities. After all I still need to make my food, wash my clothes
(by hand, no washing machine...) and deal with my various inner conflicts.

At first glance, Bhubaneswar seems like any other city in India; busy, noisy and dirty...yet Bhubaneswar mean the abode of the Gods, and it is filled with such monuments that reflect divine beauty and profound peace. Whenever I get the chance, I ride my bicycle (or cycle) to one of this incredible ancient temples that are awe inspiring and are inviting one to rest in their graceful and peaceful grounds.

There are also several parks, meditation centers, and exquisite shops and restaurants that I frequently visit. I feel very lucky to be able to steep in this place that has Odissi culture embedded in every facet of it's existence.

I uploaded my Orissa photos as well as my London - Israel - Paris photos onto Picasa:

http://picasaweb.google.com/shaktibhakti/Orissa2009#

http://picasaweb.google.com/shaktibhakti/LondonParisIsrael2009#

Dhai and Papaya

One of the special little treats here in India is the local Dhai. Home made, whole-milk, live- culture yogurt. There is no fancy brand names and selection of flavors. Many families make their own at home, and you can find it at the local sweet shops. Every sweet shop sells Dhai and Paneer (white soft cheese blocks, the consistency of tofu, but much yummier). Small family owned shops are (so far...) the way it goes here. There are very few chain shops in India, and most shopping of any kind happens in tiny shops that surprisingly have more in them then you can imagine. When I first arrived, I scanned my area for all sweet shops in sight, bought Dhai and Paneer from each, and selected my favorite one for continuous supply of this delicious creamy Yogurt. (I thought I'll have it with honey, but it is naturally so perfect in flavors of sweet-tangy-creamy mix that no honey is needed). It is stored in big clay containers, and you buy it by weight. You can bring your own container or they put it in plastic beg. (By the way, they put EVERYTHING in plastic begs here. In the small local restaurants, if you order your food to go, the soup will be placed in a plastic bag too!)
I use the Dhai for making Raita (let me know if you want the recipe:), and one of my favorites is Dhai with Papaya. The papayas are delicious too, however, I'm not sure how it happened, but the papayas lost their seeds ??? Does anyone knows what happened to the Papaya seeds? They use to always be packed with these black shiny-slimy bitter seeds that suppose to help stomach problems, and now most of them are empty in the middle...but still delicious.

I've been visiting in India since 1991, and despite the huge leaps of modernization I've seen here over the years, (In 1991, along with the fall of Communism, India opened its market to import, soon after .com discovered India or maybe India discovered .com and the rest is history), I'm thankful to the still intact natural way of sustainable markets in local neighborhoods. I'm also thankful for fresh Dhai and Paneer, and fresh Papayas picked today!

Sex in the city?

There seems to be never a dull moment here. The streets are buzzing with action. The myriad expressions of human's life is out in the open for everyone to view and contribute their part. Life is happening and crea(c)tivity is abound. Everywhere; In front of shops and home gates, in the Bastis, and in the wealthy neighborhoods. By the railway, and by the banks. There is no hiding, in fact there is explosion of expression; crying and shouting, love and devotion, disguise, hatred, sadness, madness...and then there is trash of all kinds, poop and pee, death, pain, you name it, everything that we, in the west, work so hard to hide behind closed doors, is available to fully experience. The only obvious missing shade out of the spectrum of natural humane expression, is SEX. Sexuality is a big NO; there is no hugging, no kissing, no sexy dressing, no talking in explicit sexual way, not even touching (with the opposite sex, there is a all lot of fondling between the man!:).  Occasionally, when a group of Hijras, the cast of transvestites will pass by, creating an air of sexual vulgarism, I noticed people cringe with discomfort. Sexual expression is the one single thing that get people way out of their solid 'shantiness'. Everybody are oblivious to any kind of sensual assaults and intensity but Sex. Sexuality is very hidden, like hot lava deep in the belly of the mountain. It's buried so far deep under years of British rule, and although England changed it's moral codes long ago, India just got buried deeper in sexual shame, and 'proper-ness'.
The movies, TV, and commercials, on the other hand, just get more daring and sexy, modern ideas and western lifestyle seep in, and the average marriage age rises...people live in large families in small dwellings with virtually no privacy, day and night - so you may imagine the result - one big sex pressure cooker! It is there, yet forbidden. Of course, sexuality does find its way; both in unconscious explosions of blant rudeness and weirdness, and as a natural expression in subtler ways then the eye catches. In quick gazes, in subtle movement, in the tone of voice, and in the Arts.

I remember long ago, I was once in Kerala, alone, in a tiny village surrounded by rice fields, coconut palms, rubber plantations, and ancient temples. There was only one person in the all village who spoke English. Only one road. I lived in that village for one month, sharing a small house with a newly wed couple. They were so poor, that my rent money of about $20 a month, was great supplement for their income. We cooked on open fire, drew water from the well for bathing and cooking, and stroll down to the local pond for laundry. I was taking dance classes in a school about 45 min walk from my village. The rest of the time, apart from long mornings of practicing my Sadhana, and reading over and over the same few Yoga books I carried with me, I went for long walks deep into the night. There, I discovered that as soon as night sets in, and it's pitch dark, at the temple grounds is where the men go to masturbate, and young couples may unite in secret. In that same village, I once climbed a magnificent banyan tree with a beard of suspended roots, to take a rest, and suddenly felt, for the first time since I arrived in India, sexual arousal. I got the hit that the trees may serve as another convenient location for such expression.

In Odissi dance, sensuality is dancing its way into the fluidity and grace of every move. It is permeating into every eye movement, neck slide, wrist turn, and torso bend. Fascinating how it can be so prevalent, so essential to the core of Odissi expression, and yet completely ignored in the realm of conscious communication.

I can't help it but compare between India and the West; In one, sexuality is completely denied and in the other, exploited. Finally, The results are similar, like the two sides of one coin, a huge tangle of unresolved emotions, frustration, sexual weirdness, and the deprivation of beauty, respect, and wholesomeness of our sexuality.

I find it intriguing to continue to look deeper into this phenomena, and start to understand the fine web of cultural and primal behavior, and the mystery of sexuality in such a place that was once a thriving center of Tantric practices, and is now so intensely afraid of the most primal of human expressions. Interesting enough is that the temples have been serving, once with reverence, and now under cover, as viable center for sexual expression in it's most pure, natural, and sacred way.